There comes a strange, quiet question after a period of growth:
If I’m not who I used to be… who am I now?
You may no longer fully believe the old narratives about yourself — the achiever, the fixer, the good one, the strong one, the invisible one, the responsible one, the rebel, the caretaker.
But the new shape of you isn’t fully clear yet either.
This can feel unsettling. Not because something is wrong, but because identity itself is reorganizing.
And identity is one of the ways the nervous system understands how to move through the world.
When the Old Roles Fall Away
Most of us built our sense of self around roles that once made sense.
They helped us:
belong
be valued
stay safe
navigate family and culture
survive difficult environments
But growth often loosens these roles. You may notice:
You don’t want to overperform like you used to
You can’t ignore your own needs the same way
You’re less willing to pretend
You don’t get the same satisfaction from approval
Certain identities feel tight or artificial
At first, this can feel like loss:
“I used to know who I was.”
But what’s really happening is that who you were built to survive is making space for who you are built to live as.
That transition takes time.
The Identity Gap
There is often a period where:
the old identity doesn’t fully fit
the new identity hasn’t fully formed
you feel less defined than before
This is the identity gap.
In this space, you might feel:
unsure how to describe yourself
less certain in social situations
less driven by old motivations
quieter, more observant
temporarily less confident
This isn’t regression. It’s decompression.
You are no longer tightly organized around a set of inherited expectations. Your system is pausing before reorganizing around something more authentic.
Clarity about who you are often comes after this loosening, not before.
Identity Doesn’t Have to Be a Performance
Many of our earlier identities were built on performance:
being impressive
being needed
being agreeable
being different
being strong
When those drop away, we can feel exposed:
“If I’m not performing a role, what do I offer?”
But a more grounded identity isn’t something you perform. It’s something you inhabit.
Instead of asking:
“How should I be seen?” try asking:
“What feels true to live from right now?”
This shifts identity from image → alignment.
Rebuilding from the Inside Out
A more stable sense of self forms gradually from lived experience, not declarations.
You may start to notice:
You choose rest without justifying it
You speak more honestly, even if your voice shakes
You say no when something feels off
You pursue interests that feel nourishing, not impressive
You allow yourself to change your mind
These small acts are identity forming in real time.
Not because you decided “This is who I am now,” but because you allowed your behavior to reflect what feels more aligned.
Identity grows from repeated self-trust.
Values Over Labels
During reconstruction, labels can feel either too big or too limiting.
Instead of trying to find the perfect word for who you are, it can help to focus on values:
What matters to me now?
What feels important to protect?
What kind of energy do I want to bring into spaces?
What feels out of alignment with how I want to live?
Values are flexible. They guide without boxing you in.
They allow identity to stay alive, instead of becoming another rigid structure you’ll eventually have to outgrow.
You Are Allowed to Be in Process
It’s okay if you can’t explain yourself the way you used to.
It’s okay if others notice you’ve changed but you don’t have a neat summary.
It’s okay if your answer to “What’s new with you?” is:
“I’m still figuring that out.”
Identity reconstruction is quiet work. It happens in everyday moments, not dramatic announcements.
You are not behind because you don’t have a new definition yet.
You are letting a more honest one emerge.
A Self That Can Breathe
The goal isn’t to land on a perfect, permanent version of yourself.
It’s to develop a sense of self that can:
evolve
respond
soften
strengthen
rest
grow
A self that doesn’t require constant performance or defense.
A self that feels like home, not a job description.
That kind of identity isn’t built overnight. It forms through small, steady acts of living in alignment with what feels true now.
And that is more than enough.
Light Crosslinks
If this speaks to where you are, you may also resonate with:
Gerry explores themes of change, emotional awareness, and inner coherence through reflective writing. His work is shaped by lived experience during times of transition and is offered as an invitation to pause, notice, and reflect.
If you’re curious about the broader personal and spiritual context behind these reflections, you can read a longer note here.
How to release an old story gently when your nervous system still needs safety
5–7 minutes
There comes a moment when an old story no longer fits.
You can feel it. The explanations that once held everything together now feel tight, forced, or incomplete. Something in you has outgrown the narrative you’ve been living inside.
But knowing a story isn’t true anymore doesn’t mean you’re ready to drop it overnight.
Because stories don’t just shape our thinking. They shape our sense of safety.
Letting go of a familiar story — even an inaccurate one — can feel less like growth and more like stepping off solid ground.
This is where many people get scared. Or rush. Or grab onto the next story too quickly.
But there is another way.
You can loosen your grip without shocking your system. You can transition without tearing yourself apart.
Why Letting Go Feels So Unsettling
An old story is more than a belief. It’s a structure.
It organizes:
how you see yourself
how you understand your past
how you make decisions
how you relate to others
what feels possible for your future
When that structure begins to dissolve, the nervous system can register it as loss of orientation.
Even if the story was limiting, it was familiar. And familiarity is one of the nervous system’s main signals of safety.
So if you feel:
wobbly
uncertain
strangely exposed
tempted to “go back” to the old way of seeing
…it doesn’t mean you were wrong to grow.
It means your system is recalibrating to a wider view.
You Don’t Have to Jump — You Can Build a Bridge
Change is often framed as a leap: old self → new self old belief → new belief
But human beings rarely transform through cliffs. We transform through bridges.
Letting go gently might look like:
Allowing doubt about the old story without forcing certainty about a new one
Reducing how tightly you identify with a belief instead of trying to erase it
Saying “I’m not sure anymore” instead of “I know exactly what’s true now”
Making small behavioral shifts before making big declarations
This gives your nervous system time to adjust to new ground forming under your feet.
You are not betraying growth by moving slowly. You are making growth sustainable.
The In-Between Is a Real Phase
There is often a stretch of time where:
the old story no longer feels fully believable
the new story hasn’t fully formed
your identity feels less defined than before
This can feel like emptiness, regression, or being lost.
But this “in-between” is not a mistake. It is a reorganization space.
Your system is:
releasing old associations
testing new perceptions
waiting for lived experience to support a new coherence
It’s similar to how muscles shake while building new strength. Instability doesn’t mean collapse. It means recalibration.
Temporary Anchors Are Not Failures
When an old story loosens, you may need more support, not less.
Temporary anchors help your system feel steady while your inner landscape is shifting. These aren’t new identities to cling to. They are stabilizers.
Gerry explores themes of change, emotional awareness, and inner coherence through reflective writing. His work is shaped by lived experience during times of transition and is offered as an invitation to pause, notice, and reflect.
If you’re curious about the broader personal and spiritual context behind these reflections, you can read a longer note here.
Our choices. Our beliefs. Our personality. Our definition of love, success, and “how things work.”
But if we slow down and look closely, many of the stories shaping our lives didn’t begin with us at all.
They were handed to us.
From parents. From culture. From religion. From school. From media. From the unspoken rules of the communities we grew up in.
We didn’t consciously choose these stories. We absorbed them — because belonging and safety depended on it.
And over time, those inherited interpretations quietly became: “This is just reality.”
The Stories We Mistake for Truth
As children, we are meaning-making machines in survival mode.
We learn quickly:
What gets approval
What causes tension
What keeps us connected
What threatens belonging
So we form internal conclusions like:
“I have to be strong.”
“I shouldn’t be too emotional.”
“Love means sacrificing.”
“Success means being productive.”
“Conflict means something is wrong.”
None of these are universal truths. They are adaptations.
But because they helped us function and belong, they harden into identity.
By adulthood, they no longer feel like stories. They feel like facts.
Why We Keep Forcing Meaning — Even When It Hurts
Human beings are wired to prefer a painful explanation over no explanation at all.
Uncertainty feels unsafe. So when our lived experience doesn’t match the story we inherited, we don’t immediately question the story.
We question ourselves.
We tell ourselves:
“I’m just overthinking.”
“Everyone else seems fine.”
“Maybe this is just what adulthood feels like.”
“Maybe I’m expecting too much.”
This is how we learn to override direct experience.
We feel something is off… but we keep fitting our lives into a narrative that no longer reflects our reality.
Not because we’re weak — but because coherence feels safer than truth.
The Cost of Denying Your Own Experience
When your inner experience and your outer story don’t match, a quiet split forms.
On the outside, life may look stable. On the inside, something feels misaligned.
This often shows up as:
A persistent sense of restlessness or dullness
Emotional numbness or unexplained anxiety
Feeling like you’re “playing a role” in your own life
Fatigue that rest doesn’t fix
A vague loneliness even in company
You may not be able to name what’s wrong.
Because the problem isn’t a specific situation.
The problem is the ongoing effort of being someone who fits a story that no longer fits you.
That effort is exhausting.
When the Old Story Starts to Fall Apart
At some point, for many people, the inherited narrative stops holding.
It might be triggered by:
A relationship shift
Burnout
Loss
Therapy
A major life transition
Or simply getting older and less willing to pretend
Suddenly you notice: “I don’t actually believe this anymore.” “This version of success doesn’t feel like mine.” “I’ve built my life around expectations I never chose.”
This can feel disorienting — even frightening.
Because before a new story forms, there is a period where nothing quite makes sense.
You’re not sure what you want. What you believe. Who you are without the old script.
It can feel like regression.
But often, it’s the opposite.
It’s the moment when direct experience starts becoming more trustworthy than inherited narrative.
You’re Not Losing Yourself — You’re Meeting Yourself
When old meanings dissolve, people often think: “I’m lost.”
But what’s actually happening is this:
You are no longer willing to force meaning where it doesn’t belong.
You’re beginning to notice:
What actually feels true
What actually drains you
What actually matters
What you’ve been tolerating out of habit, fear, or loyalty to an old identity
This phase is uncomfortable because it’s storyless.
But it’s also honest.
And honesty is the foundation of a life that feels like it belongs to you.
Living Without a Ready-Made Script
There is a period in growth where you don’t yet have a new narrative — only clearer perception.
You might not know:
What your life is “about”
What comes next
How everything fits together
But you may start to trust:
Your bodily signals
Your emotional responses
Your quiet preferences
Your need for more space, truth, or alignment
This is not selfishness. It’s recalibration.
Instead of asking, “How do I fit into the world I was given?”
You slowly begin asking, “What feels real to me now?”
That question can reshape a life — gently, over time.
If You’re in This Space
If the story of your life feels like it’s unraveling, you are not broken.
You are likely:
Outgrowing inherited meanings
Reclaiming your own perception
Learning to trust direct experience over old scripts
It can feel empty before it feels clear.
But that emptiness is not failure.
It’s space.
And in that space, a life that fits you — not just the expectations around you — has room to emerge.
Gerry explores themes of change, emotional awareness, and inner coherence through reflective writing. His work is shaped by lived experience during times of transition and is offered as an invitation to pause, notice, and reflect.
If you’re curious about the broader personal and spiritual context behind these reflections, you can read a longer note here.
From upheaval to integration to re-entering the world — without losing yourself
4–6 minutes
We hear a lot about awakening.
The breakthroughs. The realizations. The moments that shake your sense of reality and rearrange how you see yourself and the world.
But what’s talked about far less is what comes after.
Not the peak. Not the collapse. But the long, quiet stretch where change becomes livable.
This series was written for that stretch.
For the people who are no longer in crisis, but not quite who they used to be. For those who feel calmer on the outside, yet unsure how to move forward from this new inner ground.
If that’s where you are, you’re not behind.
You may be in the part of the journey where growth stops being dramatic — and starts becoming real.
🌄 1. The Quiet After the Awakening
After emotional or spiritual intensity, many people expect lasting clarity or bliss. Instead, they meet a strange lull.
Life looks ordinary again. The revelations slow. The urgency fades. And in that quiet, doubts creep in:
“Was any of that real?” “Why do I feel flat?” “Have I gone backwards?”
This stage is often misread as regression. But it’s frequently integration beginning — when the nervous system starts to absorb what happened, instead of just surviving it.
The absence of fireworks doesn’t mean nothing is happening. It often means your system is finally safe enough to settle.
🌿 2. Living Through the Quiet Integration Phase
Once the intensity fades, the real work shifts into daily life.
This phase can feel boring, unproductive, or emotionally muted. But it’s where your body and nervous system recalibrate. It’s where new patterns become sustainable instead of temporary.
Here, growth looks like:
needing more rest
having less tolerance for drama
moving more slowly
doing less, but with more presence
Nothing dramatic is happening — and that’s often exactly the point.
🌱 3. When Purpose Returns Softly
After the lull, a quiet question begins to surface:
“What now?”
But the old answers don’t fit. Purpose can no longer be driven by pressure, proving, or fear. The motivations that once pushed you forward may have gone quiet.
In their place comes something subtler:
Small interests. Gentle curiosity. Modest next steps that feel sustainable rather than urgent.
Purpose, in this phase, isn’t a grand plan. It’s a series of livable choices that your nervous system can support. Direction grows not from intensity, but from stability.
🤝 4. Rebuilding Relationships After You’ve Changed
As your inner world shifts, your relational life begins to shift too.
You may need more space. More honesty. Less performance. You may feel less able to carry emotional weight that once felt normal.
This doesn’t mean you’ve outgrown love. It means your nervous system is asking for connection that includes mutuality, pacing, and respect for limits.
Some relationships deepen. Some soften. Some drift. New ones form slowly.
This isn’t isolation. It’s integration extending into how you relate.
🧭 5. Learning to Trust Yourself Again
After big internal change, many people feel unsure of their own guidance.
The old inner voice — often driven by pressure or fear — has quieted. The new one is softer, more physical, and easier to miss.
Self-trust returns not through certainty, but through small acts of listening: Resting when tired. Saying no when something feels off. Taking time before deciding.
You don’t become someone who never doubts. You become someone who can stay in relationship with yourself while moving forward.
🌍 6. Returning to the World Without Losing Yourself
How do you participate in the world without abandoning the steadiness you’ve rebuilt?
You may no longer be able to operate from overdrive. Pace becomes as important as performance. Contribution becomes something you offer from sustainability, not depletion.
This isn’t stepping back from life. It’s stepping into a way of showing up that doesn’t cost you yourself.
This Is Not a Linear Path — It’s a Living Process
You may move back and forth between these stages. You may feel settled one week and uncertain the next. That doesn’t mean you’re failing.
It means you’re human.
Deep change doesn’t end with a single realization. It continues as your nervous system, relationships, work, and identity slowly reorganize around a new baseline.
The dramatic part of awakening gets attention.
But this quieter part — the part where you learn to live differently, gently, sustainably — is where transformation becomes a life, not just an experience.
If you find yourself in the calm after the storm, unsure but softer than before, you may be exactly where you need to be.
Nothing is exploding. Nothing is collapsing. You’re just learning how to be here — in your life — without leaving yourself behind.
Gerry explores themes of change, emotional awareness, and inner coherence through reflective writing. His work is shaped by lived experience during times of transition and is offered as an invitation to pause, notice, and reflect.
If you’re curious about the broader personal and spiritual context behind these reflections, you can read a longer note here.
Unraveling Human Despair and Resilience with Insights from Science, Society, Spirituality, and The Law of One
Revised: February 16, 2026
Prepared by: Gerald A. Daquila, PhD. Candidate
A Note on Care, Responsibility, and Support
This work explores suicide through psychological, sociological, biological, and spiritual lenses, including metaphysical perspectives drawn from The Law of One. It is written with compassion and intellectual integrity, not as endorsement of self-harm.
Suicide is a preventable public health issue. Suicidal thoughts most often arise from treatable mental health conditions, overwhelming stress, trauma, social isolation, or acute psychological pain. These states are not permanent, and support is available.
The metaphysical reflections in this text are offered as philosophical frameworks for understanding suffering. They are not to be interpreted as justification, validation, or spiritual endorsement of suicide. No spiritual perspective replaces professional mental health care, crisis intervention, or medical treatment.
If you are experiencing thoughts of self-harm, please pause here and seek immediate support:
Philippines: • National Center for Mental Health Crisis Hotline: 1553 (landline) • 0966-351-4518 / 0917-899-8727
United States: Call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline)
If you are in immediate danger, contact local emergency services.
You are not alone. Suicidal thoughts are signals of distress — not destiny. Treatment, connection, and compassionate support save lives.
This text proceeds with the assumption that life is sacred, help is real, and healing is possible.
ABSTRACT
Suicide, a profound global challenge, claims over 700,000 lives annually (World Health Organization, 2021). This dissertation explores why people commit suicide, its root causes, mechanisms, and mitigation strategies through a multi-disciplinary lens, enriched by the metaphysical principles of The Law of One. This framework posits that all beings are expressions of a unified Creator, navigating distortions of free will and seeking balance between service-to-others and service-to-self.
By integrating psychological, sociological, biological, spiritual, and esoteric perspectives with The Law of One, this work offers a holistic, non-judgmental understanding of suicide. Key findings highlight mental health disorders, social disconnection, biological predispositions, existential crises, and distortions in consciousness as drivers. Mitigation strategies combine empirical interventions with spiritual practices inspired by unity and love, aiming to reduce suicide rates and foster resilience.
Table of Contents
Introduction
The Root Causes of Suicide
Psychological Factors
Sociological Influences
Biological and Neurological Contributors
Spiritual, Existential, and Law of One Dimensions
The Anatomy of Suicide
Ideation to Action: The Psychological Process
The Social Context of Despair
Biological Mechanisms
Metaphysical and Law of One Perspectives
Mitigating the Root Causes
Psychological and Therapeutic Interventions
Social and Community-Based Strategies
Biological and Medical Approaches
Spiritual, Metaphysical, and Law of One-Inspired Practices
Policy and Systemic Changes
Discussion: A Unified Synthesis
Conclusion
Glossary
References
1. Introduction
Suicide is a heart-wrenching phenomenon, touching countless lives and raising urgent questions: Why do some choose to end their lives? What drives such despair? How can we help? With over 700,000 annual deaths globally (World Health Organization, 2021), suicide demands a compassionate, comprehensive response.
This dissertation explores suicide through psychological, sociological, biological, spiritual, and esoteric lenses, overlaid with The Law of One, a channeled metaphysical text. The Law of One teaches that all is one, a singular Creator expressing itself through infinite beings, each navigating free will and distortions like separation or fear (Elkins et al., 1984).
Suicidal despair often arises from overwhelming psychological pain combined with perceived disconnection from meaning, belonging, or worth. Spiritual language may sometimes be used to describe this disconnection metaphorically, but clinical research consistently shows that reconnection through therapy, relationship, and purpose restores stability and hope within life. By blending empirical science with this metaphysical framework, we aim to understand suicide’s causes, mechanisms, and mitigation strategies, balancing logic and intuition in a non-judgmental narrative accessible to all.
2. The Root Causes of Suicide
Suicide arises from a complex interplay of factors, which we explore below, integrating The Law of One to deepen our understanding.
Psychological Factors
Mental health disorders like depression, anxiety, and PTSD are strongly linked to suicide. Dervic et al. (2004) found that depressed individuals without spiritual beliefs report higher suicidal ideation (Dervic et al., 2004). Thomas Joiner’s Interpersonal Theory of Suicide (2005) identifies three drivers:
Thwarted Belongingness: Feeling disconnected from others.
Perceived Burdensomeness: Believing one burdens loved ones.
Acquired Capability: Overcoming self-preservation instincts through exposure to pain.
From The Law of One perspective, these reflect distortions of separation from the Creator. Thwarted belongingness mirrors the illusion of isolation from the unified whole, while burdensomeness stems from distorted self-perception, obscuring one’s inherent worth as part of the Creator (Elkins et al., 1984).
Sociological Influences
Émile Durkheim’s (1897) sociology of suicide highlights social integration’s role, identifying:
Egoistic Suicide: From low social connection.
Altruistic Suicide: Sacrificing for a collective cause.
Anomic Suicide: Triggered by societal normlessness.
Fatalistic Suicide: From oppressive structures.
Modern data shows social disconnection, poverty, and stigma elevate risk, especially in marginalized groups (Ullah et al., 2021). In The Law of One, social disconnection is a distortion of the unity principle—all beings are one. Societal structures that foster isolation or inequality amplify this distortion, pushing individuals toward despair (Elkins et al., 1984).
Biological and Neurological Contributors
Biological factors include neurotransmitter imbalances (e.g., low serotonin) and genetic predispositions (Mann, 2003; Brent & Mann, 2005). Neuroimaging reveals prefrontal cortex dysfunction in suicidal individuals, impairing impulse control (van Heeringen & Mann, 2014). Chronic stress dysregulates the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis, intensifying emotional pain.
Some spiritual frameworks describe emotional suffering metaphorically as energetic imbalance. While such language may help individuals conceptualize distress, suicidal risk is best addressed through comprehensive mental health care, medical evaluation, and social support. Holistic practices may complement — but never replace — clinical intervention.
Spiritual, Existential, and Law of One Dimensions
Spiritually, suicide often ties to existential crises—lacking meaning or purpose. Viktor Frankl (1946) argued that purpose protects against despair. Religious traditions vary: Hinduism condemns suicide as violating ahimsa (non-violence), except in cases like Prayopavesa (fasting for spiritual liberation), while Buddhism links it to dukkha (suffering) and karma (Wikipedia, 2005).
The Law of One frames human life as a sacred opportunity for growth within physical incarnation. In moments of extreme suffering, an individual may cognitively distort their circumstances and mistakenly perceive death as relief from pain. Within this framework, such distortion does not represent spiritual advancement or return to unity. Rather, it reflects the temporary obscuring of love, support, and embodied purpose that remain accessible through continued life and healing(Elkins et al., 1984). The Ra Material suggests life is a “third-density” experience of choice, where beings polarize toward service-to-others (love, compassion) or service-to-self (control, separation).
Suicidal despair may arise from an unconscious yearning for the Creator’s unity, blocked by distortions like fear or self-rejection. Esoteric texts, like the Corpus Hermeticum, echo this, describing suicide as a misguided attempt to transcend the material world (Wikipedia, 2004).
3. The Anatomy of Suicide
How does suicide unfold? This section dissects its progression, incorporating The Law of One.
Ideation to Action: The Psychological Process
Suicidal ideation escalates from fleeting thoughts to plans under stress. Joiner’s model (2005) highlights desire (hopelessness, burdensomeness) and capability (desensitization to pain). Cognitive distortions, like “I’ll never be happy,” reinforce despair (Beck, 1979).
In The Law of One, ideation reflects a distortion where the self perceives separation from the Creator’s infinite love. The transition from ideation to action often occurs when hopelessness, cognitive narrowing, and impaired impulse control converge under acute stress. Evidence-based treatment focuses on widening perception, restoring emotional regulation, and reconnecting individuals with supportive relationships and professional care (Elkins et al., 1984).
The Social Context of Despair
Social isolation fuels suicide, as Durkheim’s egoistic model shows. Adolescents with low social support report higher ideation (BMC Public Health, 2019). Stigma, especially in conservative cultures, prevents help-seeking (SpringerLink, 2021).
The Law of One sees social disconnection as a collective distortion of unity. Societies that prioritize competition over compassion amplify separation, obstructing the service-to-others path that fosters connection (Elkins et al., 1984).
Biological Mechanisms
Low serotonin, stress hormones, and prefrontal cortex dysfunction increase suicide risk (Mann, 2003; van Heeringen & Mann, 2014). Access to lethal means (e.g., firearms) facilitates action (Perlman et al., 2011).
The Law of One suggests biological imbalances reflect disharmony in the mind/body/spirit complex. For example, low serotonin may signal blocked energy centers (chakras), particularly the heart (love) or root (survival), disrupting the flow of the Creator’s light (Elkins et al., 1984).
Metaphysical and Law of One Perspectives
Experiences of existential despair may involve a longing for relief, meaning, or transcendence. However, contemporary psychological research consistently shows that these longings can be met through connection, treatment, and purpose-building within life — not through self-harm. Gnosticism views the material world as a prison, with suicide as a potential (though not endorsed) escape (Wikipedia, 2004). Modern esoteric sources describe suicide as a “fractal motivation” for transformation, enacted destructively (Gaia, 2015).
Spiritual traditions vary in how they interpret the afterlife. What remains consistent across responsible care frameworks is that suicide leaves profound emotional impact on families and communities and interrupts the ongoing possibilities of growth within this lifetime. For this reason, prevention, treatment, and compassionate intervention remain the priority in both secular and spiritual care contexts.
Glyph of Resilience
Resilience is not resistance but remembrance of Light within.
4. Mitigating the Root Causes
Mitigation requires addressing psychological, social, biological, spiritual, and systemic factors, enhanced by The Law of One’s principles of unity and love.
The Law of One suggests therapy align with service-to-others, helping individuals recognize their unity with the Creator. Therapists can incorporate mindfulness or visualization to dissolve distortions of separation, fostering self-acceptance as part of the infinite whole (Elkins et al., 1984).
Social and Community-Based Strategies
Community programs reduce isolation, as seen in Malaysia, where social and spiritual support lowered adolescent ideation (BMC Public Health, 2019). Anti-stigma campaigns, like “R U OK?”, encourage open dialogue.
The Law of One emphasizes collective unity. Communities practicing service-to-others—through empathy, shared rituals, or mutual aid—counter distortions of isolation. For example, creating “green-ray” (heart chakra) spaces of unconditional love can heal social disconnection (Elkins et al., 1984).
Biological and Medical Approaches
Antidepressants (SSRIs) stabilize serotonin, while ketamine offers rapid relief for suicidal ideation (Mann, 2003; Wilkinson et al., 2018). Restricting lethal means reduces rates (Perlman et al., 2011).
The Law of One views medical interventions as balancing the physical vehicle. Holistic approaches, like acupuncture or energy healing, can complement medication by addressing energetic blockages in the mind/body/spirit complex, aligning with Ra’s teachings on harmonizing the self (Elkins et al., 1984).
Spiritual, Metaphysical, and Law of One-Inspired Practices
Meditation, prayer, and mindfulness enhance resilience (Agarwal, 2017). Religious communities can offer support if non-judgmental (MDPI, 2018). Esoteric practices, like Surat Shabd Yoga, connect individuals to spiritual sources (Agarwal, 2017).
The Law of One advocates practices that dissolve distortions and align with unity. Meditation on the heart chakra (green ray) fosters love for self and others, countering suicidal despair. Ra suggests visualizing the Creator’s light within, affirming one’s eternal nature (Elkins et al., 1984). Group practices, like collective meditation, amplify service-to-others energy, creating a supportive field for those in crisis.
Policy and Systemic Changes
Increased mental health funding, especially in rural areas, and training providers to screen for risk are critical (Perlman et al., 2011). WHO’s LIVE LIFE framework advocates banning lethal pesticides and promoting responsible media (World Health Organization, 2021).
The Law of One supports systemic changes that reflect unity and service-to-others. Policies should prioritize equitable access to care, fostering a societal “group mind” that values all beings as expressions of the Creator. Grassroots movements aligned with love and compassion can influence policy, reducing structural distortions like inequality (Elkins et al., 1984).
5. Discussion: A Unified Synthesis
Suicide reflects a convergence of psychological pain, social isolation, biological imbalance, and spiritual longing, compounded by distortions of separation from the Creator (The Law of One). Psychology addresses the mind’s distortions, sociology the collective’s, biology the body’s, and spirituality the soul’s.
The Law of One can be interpreted as describing human life as a developmental arena in which distortions of perception may arise under extreme stress. Within this view, suicide reflects acute suffering and impaired perception — not spiritual progress or transcendence — and therefore calls for compassionate intervention and embodied support.
Mitigation requires integration: therapy to heal the mind, community to reconnect the heart, medicine to balance the body, and spiritual practices to align with the Creator’s love. The Law of One enhances this by emphasizing service-to-others and self-acceptance as divine. For example, a depressed individual might benefit from CBT, peer support, antidepressants, and meditation on unity, addressing all facets of their being.
Challenges remain. Religious stigma or misapplied esoteric ideas can harm (MDPI, 2018; Gaia, 2015). The Law of One counters this by advocating non-judgment and compassion, viewing all choices as part of the soul’s journey (Elkins et al., 1984). Systemic change, inspired by unity, can dismantle barriers to care, creating a world where no one feels separate.
If You Are Struggling Right Now
If any part of this discussion resonates personally and you are experiencing thoughts of self-harm, please pause. These thoughts are signals of distress — not directives.
Suicidal ideation is often associated with treatable depression, trauma, acute stress, or social isolation. Many people who once felt certain that death was the only relief later report gratitude that they survived long enough to receive support.
Reach out immediately to a trusted person, crisis service, or healthcare provider. Even a brief interruption in isolation can shift momentum.
Healing does not require perfection. It requires staying.
6. Conclusion
Suicide reveals the urgent need to address the psychological, social, biological, and existential suffering that can obscure a person’s sense of connection and worth. By integrating psychological, social, biological, and spiritual approaches with The Law of One’s principles, we can address its causes and mitigate its impact. This dissertation invites us to see those in despair as sacred expressions of the infinite, navigating pain but capable of resilience through love, connection, and purpose. Together, we can build a world where unity prevails, and no one walks alone.
→ A gentle integration of awakening themes into embodied daily living.
8. Glossary
Ahimsa: Non-violence, a core principle in Hinduism and Jainism.
Dukkha: Suffering, a central Buddhist concept.
Karma: The law of cause and effect in Buddhism and Hinduism.
Law of One: A metaphysical teaching that all is one Creator, with beings navigating free will and distortions to evolve toward unity (Elkins et al., 1984).
Prayopavesa: A Hindu practice of voluntary fasting to death for spiritual liberation.
Serotonin: A neurotransmitter regulating mood, linked to suicide risk.
Service-to-Others/Service-to-Self: Polarities in The Law of One, where beings choose to act with love (others) or control (self).
Third-Density: In The Law of One, the current stage of human consciousness, focused on choice and polarity.
9. References
Agarwal, V. (2017). Meditational spiritual intercession and recovery from disease in palliative care: A literature review. Annals of Palliative Medicine.
Beck, A. T. (1979). Cognitive therapy of depression. Guilford Press.
Brent, D. A., & Mann, J. J. (2005). Family genetic studies, suicide, and suicidal behavior. American Journal of Medical Genetics Part C: Seminars in Medical Genetics, 133C(1), 13–24. https://doi.org/10.1002/ajmg.c.30042
Dervic, K., Oquendo, M. A., Grunebaum, M. F., Ellis, S., Burke, A. K., & Mann, J. J. (2004).Religious affiliation and suicide attempt. American Journal of Psychiatry, 161(12), 2303–2308. https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.ajp.161.12.2303
Durkheim, É. (1897). Suicide: A study in sociology. Free Press.
Elkins, D., Rueckert, C., & McCarty, J. (1984). The Law of One: Book I. L/L Research.
Frankl, V. E. (1946). Man’s search for meaning. Beacon Press.
Joiner, T. (2005). Why people die by suicide. Harvard University Press.
Linehan, M. M. (1993). Cognitive-behavioral treatment of borderline personality disorder. Guilford Press.
Mann, J. J. (2003). Neurobiology of suicidal behaviour. Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 4(10), 819–828. https://doi.org/10.1038/nrn1220
Perlman, C. M., Neufeld, E., Martin, L., Goy, M., & Hirdes, J. P. (2011). Suicide risk assessment inventory: A resource guide for Canadian health care organizations. Ontario Hospital Association and Canadian Patient Safety Institute.
Ullah, Z., Shah, N. A., Khan, S. S., Ahmad, N., & Scholz, M. (2021). Mapping institutional interventions to mitigate suicides: A study of causes and prevention. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 18(20), 10880. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph182010880
Wilkinson, S. T., Ballard, E. D., Bloch, M. H., Mathew, S. J., Murrough, J. W., Feder, A., … & Sanacora, G. (2018). The effect of a single dose of intravenous ketamine on suicidal ideation: A systematic review and individual participant data meta-analysis. American Journal of Psychiatry, 175(2), 150–158. https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.ajp.2017.17040472
With fidelity to the Oversoul, may this work serve as bridge, remembrance, and seed for the planetary dawn.
Ⓒ 2025–2026 Gerald Alba Daquila Flameholder of SHEYALOTH · Keeper of the Living Codices All rights reserved.
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A Journey Through Psychology, Spirituality, and Science to Explore the Ego’s Purpose and Transformation
Original Publication: May 24, 2025 | Revised: February 17, 2026
Prepared by: Gerald A. Daquila, PhD. Candidate
Author’s Reflection (2026 Integration Note)
This essay reflects an early phase of the Living Codex exploration of ego development and spiritual growth. Since its original publication, the Codex has evolved toward a more governance-oriented framing of awakening.
In this architecture, the ego is not something to transcend permanently nor something to dissolve entirely. It is a developmental structure that must mature, decentralize, and integrate within a larger field of awareness.
Awakening does not eliminate individuality; it reorganizes authority. The ego becomes a steward rather than a sovereign center.
This updated edition preserves the multidisciplinary foundation while clarifying that integration, embodiment, and psychological stability remain essential throughout spiritual development.
10–16 minutes
ABSTRACT
The ego is a complex and often misunderstood part of human consciousness, shaping how individuals perceive themselves and interact with the world. This dissertation explores the ego’s nature, purpose, and evolution through a blend of psychological, spiritual, and scientific perspectives. Drawing on disciplines like Freudian and Jungian psychology, Buddhist and Hindu teachings, and modern neuroscience, it addresses key questions: What is the ego, and why does it exist? What happens without it? How does it change during spiritual awakening, and why might it hold people back afterward? How does it contribute to the soul’s growth, and how can it be embraced for balance? The study argues that the ego is essential for navigating life but must be integrated consciously after awakening to support personal and spiritual growth.
Table of Contents
Introduction
What Is the Ego? A Multifaceted View
Psychology’s Take on the Ego
Spiritual and Esoteric Perspectives
The Brain Behind the Ego
Why Does the Ego Exist?
Building Identity and Surviving
Connecting the Physical and Spiritual
Life Without an Ego
What Happens When the Ego Is Weak or Gone?
Spiritual Views on Egolessness
The Ego During Spiritual Awakening
What Is Awakening?
Does the Ego Dissolve or Transform?
When the Ego Holds You Back
Sticking to Old Habits
Blocking Deeper Awareness
The Ego’s Role in Soul Growth
Sparking Personal Growth
Evolving Toward Higher Consciousness
Embracing the Ego After Awakening
Practical Ways to Work With the Ego
Balancing Individuality and Oneness
A Balanced Ego: What It Looks Like
Signs of a Healthy Ego
Impact on Personal and Global Growth
Conclusion
Glossary
References
1. Introduction
The ego often gets a bad reputation, labeled as the source of selfishness or a barrier to spiritual freedom. Yet, it’s also the part of us that helps us navigate daily life, form identities, and pursue goals. Far from being just a problem to overcome, the ego plays a vital role in personal and spiritual growth.
This dissertation explores the ego’s purpose, its transformation during spiritual awakening, and how it can be harnessed for a balanced, meaningful life. By weaving together insights from psychology, spiritual traditions like Buddhism and Hinduism, and cutting-edge neuroscience, this work offers a fresh perspective on the ego’s place in the journey of the soul—the process of expanding consciousness toward greater purpose and connection.
Key questions guide this exploration: What is the ego, and what does it do? What happens if it’s absent? How does it change when someone experiences a spiritual awakening, and why might it become a challenge afterward? How does it contribute to the soul’s evolution, and how can it be embraced to find balance?
Written in clear, approachable language, this dissertation speaks to a global audience, blending academic rigor with practical insights to help readers understand and work with their ego in everyday life.
Glyph of the Bridgewalker
The one who holds both shores
2. What Is the Ego? A Multifaceted View
Psychology’s Take on the Ego
In psychology, the ego is the conscious part of the mind that shapes a sense of self. Sigmund Freud (1923/1960) described it as the mediator between primal desires (the id), moral standards (the superego), and the outside world. It’s the voice that helps people make decisions, solve problems, and maintain a stable identity. Carl Jung (1964) saw the ego as the center of conscious awareness, separate from the deeper “Self,” which includes the unconscious mind and connects to universal truths.
Modern psychology, especially transpersonal psychology, views the ego as a tool that evolves over time. Abraham Maslow (1968) argued that a strong ego is necessary for self-actualization—reaching one’s full potential—before moving toward higher states like compassion or spiritual connection. Research shows that a healthy ego supports resilience and emotional stability (Hanfstingl, 2013).
Spiritual and Esoteric Perspectives
Spiritual traditions often view the ego as a limited or false self that keeps people tied to suffering. In Hinduism, texts like the Upanishads describe the ego (jiva) as the temporary self, distinct from the eternal soul (atman) (Radhakrishnan, 1953). Buddhism teaches that the ego is an illusion—an ever-changing mix of thoughts and desires that causes suffering by fostering attachment (Rahula, 1974). In Sufism, the ego is a veil that hides the soul’s true essence, or divine spark (Almaas, 2004).
Esoteric traditions, like Advaita Vedanta, suggest the ego emerges from identifying with the body and mind, creating a sense of separation from the universal consciousness (Brahman) (Shankara, 8th century/1975). These perspectives see the ego as something to transcend to realize unity with all existence.
The Brain Behind the Ego
Neuroscience links the ego to the brain’s default mode network (DMN), which handles self-referential thoughts—like reflecting on personal experiences or planning for the future (Raichle et al., 2001). Studies on meditation and psychedelics show that when DMN activity decreases, people often experience “ego dissolution,” feeling connected to everything and losing their sense of separate self (Carhart-Harris et al., 2016). This suggests the ego is rooted in brain processes but can shift or dissolve under certain conditions, aligning with spiritual accounts of transcendence.
3. Why Does the Ego Exist?
Building Identity and Surviving
The ego’s core job is to create a sense of “me” that helps people function in the world. It organizes experiences, builds confidence, and drives personal goals, like pursuing a career or forming relationships (Erikson, 1968). From an evolutionary perspective, the ego helps survival by processing sensory information, spotting dangers, and making quick decisions (Kellert & Wilson, 1993). Without it, humans might struggle to act decisively or maintain social bonds.
Connecting the Physical and Spiritual
The ego also acts as a bridge between the physical world and deeper spiritual realities. In Jungian psychology, it connects everyday awareness with the unconscious, where universal archetypes reside (Jung, 1964). In spiritual traditions, the ego is a temporary tool for the soul to experience the material world’s challenges, like joy and pain, before returning to a state of unity (Radhakrishnan, 1953). This makes the ego essential for early soul growth, as it allows learning through contrast and struggle.
4. Life Without an Ego
What Happens When the Ego Is Weak or Gone?
A weak ego can lead to psychological issues, like difficulty making decisions or feeling disconnected from reality. Conditions like dissociative identity disorder (DID) show how trauma can fragment the ego, making it hard to maintain a stable sense of self (Ross, 2003). Without a functional ego, people may struggle to cope with emotions or social expectations, leading to confusion or withdrawal.
Spiritual Views on Egolessness
In spiritual traditions, losing the ego is often seen as a path to freedom. Buddhism aims for anatman (no-self), where letting go of the ego ends suffering by dissolving attachment (Rahula, 1974). However, trying to skip the ego’s development too soon can cause problems. “Spiritual bypassing”—using spiritual practices to avoid emotional pain—can leave people ungrounded or disconnected from reality (Welwood, 2000).
5. The Ego During Spiritual Awakening
What Is Awakening?
Spiritual awakening is a shift from seeing oneself as a separate ego to recognizing a deeper, interconnected consciousness. In Hinduism, it’s realizing the atman’s unity with Brahman (Radhakrishnan, 1953). In Buddhism, it’s understanding the ego’s impermanence to find peace (Rahula, 1974). Transpersonal psychology describes it as moving from a personal identity to a universal Self (Grof & Grof, 1989).
Does the Ego Dissolve or Transform?
Awakening can involve ego dissolution, where the sense of self temporarily fades, often during meditation or psychedelic experiences (Carhart-Harris et al., 2016). Some traditions describe complete ego dissolution as an experiential state; however, long-term development typically involves restructuring rather than permanent erasure of identity. Others, like Sri Aurobindo’s (1970) teachings, suggest the ego transforms into a tool that serves higher consciousness, channeling divine purpose into everyday actions.
6. When the Ego Holds You Back
Sticking to Old Habits
After awakening, the ego may cling to old ways, like seeking control or validation. This can lead to “spiritual narcissism,” where people use their awakening to feel superior rather than connected (Lutkajtis, 2019). These habits block the ability to live out the insights gained from awakening.
Blocking Deeper Awareness
The ego’s need to stay separate can resist the surrender needed for deeper spiritual growth. In Sufism, this is seen as the ego hiding the soul’s true essence (Almaas, 2004). This resistance can cause emotional turmoil, sometimes called the “dark night of the soul” in Christian mysticism, where old beliefs unravel painfully (Peasgood, 2007).
7. The Ego’s Role in Soul Growth
Sparking Personal Growth
The ego drives soul growth by creating challenges that push people to reflect and grow. In Jungian psychology, facing the ego’s limits leads to individuation—integrating all parts of the psyche for wholeness (Jung, 1964). In Hinduism, the ego’s attachments fuel karma, teaching the soul through life’s ups and downs (Radhakrishnan, 1953).
Evolving Toward Higher Consciousness
As the soul grows, the ego shifts from being in charge to serving a higher purpose. Sri Aurobindo (1970) saw this as the ego aligning with divine will, acting as a tool for universal good. Transpersonal psychology agrees, suggesting a mature ego steps aside to let the deeper Self guide actions (Washburn, 1995).
8. Embracing the Ego After Awakening
Practical Ways to Work With the Ego
To harmonize the ego after awakening, try these practices:
Mindfulness and Meditation: These quiet the ego’s chatter, helping you connect with your deeper self (Rahula, 1974).
Self-Inquiry: Asking “Who am I?” separates the ego from the soul, as taught in Advaita Vedanta (Shankara, 8th century/1975).
Service to Others: Practices like Sikhism’s seva (selfless service) channel the ego into compassionate action (Singh, 2011).
Balancing Individuality and Oneness
A balanced ego keeps a sense of individuality while embracing connection to all. This means honoring personal strengths—like creativity or leadership—while acting from a place of unity and compassion, ensuring the ego serves the soul’s higher purpose.
9. A Balanced Ego: What It Looks Like
Signs of a Healthy Ego
A balanced ego is flexible, grounded, and aligned with the soul. It shows up as:
Confidence without arrogance.
The ability to act decisively while staying open to others’ perspectives.
Using personal gifts to uplift others, not just oneself.
Impact on Personal and Global Growth
A balanced ego fosters authentic relationships and purposeful action. On a global scale, people with balanced egos contribute to collective healing by modeling compassion and cooperation, helping humanity move toward greater unity and understanding.
10. Conclusion
The ego is neither a villain nor a hero but a vital part of the human journey. It helps people survive, grow, and navigate the world while setting the stage for spiritual awakening. Through awakening, the ego may temporarily soften or dissolve, but sustainable growth involves transformation, integration, and maturation.
By embracing the ego consciously—through mindfulness, self-inquiry, and service—it becomes a partner in soul growth, balancing individuality with connection to the whole. This dissertation invites readers to see the ego as a dynamic tool, one that, when understood and integrated, lights the way to a more awakened, compassionate life.
Atman: In Hinduism, the eternal soul or true self, distinct from the ego (Radhakrishnan, 1953).
Anatman: Buddhist concept of “no-self,” denying a permanent ego (Rahula, 1974).
Default Mode Network (DMN): Brain network linked to self-referential thoughts and the ego (Raichle et al., 2001).
Ego: The conscious self that shapes identity and mediates reality, varying by discipline (Freud, 1923/1960).
Individuation: Jungian process of integrating conscious and unconscious aspects of the psyche (Jung, 1964).
Spiritual Bypassing: Using spiritual practices to avoid unresolved emotional issues (Welwood, 2000).
Soul Evolution: The process of consciousness expanding toward greater awareness and unity.
12. References
Almaas, A. H. (2004). The inner journey home: Soul’s realization of the unity of reality. Shambhala.
Aurobindo, S. (1970). The life divine. Sri Aurobindo Ashram Press.
Carhart-Harris, R. L., Erritzoe, D., Williams, T., Stone, J. M., Reed, L. J., Colasanti, A., … &Nutt, D. J. (2016). Neural correlates of the LSD experience revealed by multimodal neuroimaging. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 113(17), 4853–4858. https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.1518377113
Erikson, E. H. (1968). Identity: Youth and crisis. W. W. Norton & Company.
Freud, S. (1960). The ego and the id (J. Strachey, Trans.). W. W. Norton & Company. (Original work published 1923)
Grof, S., & Grof, C. (1989). Spiritual emergency: When personal transformation becomes a crisis. TarcherPerigee.
Jung, C. G. (1964). Man and his symbols. Doubleday.
Kellert, S. R., & Wilson, E. O. (Eds.). (1993). The biophilia hypothesis. Island Press.
Lutkajtis, A. (2019). The dark side of spiritual awakening: Spiritual narcissism and the misuse of spiritual concepts. Journal of Spirituality in Mental Health, 21(4), 275–294. https://doi.org/10.1080/19349637.2018.1509078
Maslow, A. H. (1968). Toward a psychology of being (2nd ed.). Van Nostrand.
Peasgood, J. (2007). The relevance of John of the Cross for contemporary spirituality. The Way, 46(3), 7–22.
Radhakrishnan, S. (1953). The principal Upanishads. Harper & Brothers.
Rahula, W. (1974). What the Buddha taught (Rev. ed.). Grove Press.
Raichle, M. E., MacLeod, A. M., Snyder, A. Z., Powers, W. J., Gusnard, D. A., & Shulman, G. L. (2001). A default mode of brain function. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 98(2), 676–682. https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.98.2.676
Ross, C. A. (2003). Schizophrenia: Innovations in diagnosis and treatment. Haworth Press.
Shankara. (1975). Brahma Sutra Bhasya (G. Thibaut, Trans.). Motilal Banarsidass. (Original work 8th century)
Singh, G. (2011). Sikhism: Its philosophy and history. Singh Brothers.
Washburn, M. (1995). The ego and the dynamic ground: A transpersonal theory of human development (2nd ed.). State University of New York Press.
Welwood, J. (2000). Toward a psychology of awakening: Buddhism, psychotherapy, and the path of personal and spiritual transformation. Shambhala.
Attribution
This work forms part of the Living Codex exploration of ego development, awakening, and integration. It is offered for reflection and discernment.
May it serve as a bridge between psychological understanding and embodied spiritual growth.
Life.Understood. 