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  • Unraveling Abuse: The Harm We Inherit, The Healing We Choose

    Unraveling Abuse: The Harm We Inherit, The Healing We Choose

    Understanding the Mechanisms, Self-Perpetuation, and Metaphysical Purpose of Abuse Through Psychological, Social, and Spiritual Lenses

    Prepared by: Gerald A. Daquila, PhD. Candidate

    10–14 minutes

    ABSTRACT

    Abuse—whether emotional, physical, or psychological—represents a profound violation of human dignity, manifesting through power imbalances and resulting in significant trauma. This article delves into the definitions, causes, and psychological mechanisms behind abuse, exploring why individuals perpetrate harm and how cycles of abuse self-perpetuate, encapsulated in the adage “hurt people hurt people.”

    Drawing on multidisciplinary research, including psychology, sociology, and metaphysics, we examine the motivations behind abusive behaviors, their societal and individual impacts, and their potential cosmic significance. We explore whether the universe permits abuse as part of a broader spiritual or existential purpose, such as soul growth or karmic balance, and consider how cosmic equilibrium might be achieved. By blending empirical evidence with metaphysical inquiry, this article offers a holistic perspective on abuse, its perpetuation, and its role in the human experience, aiming to foster understanding and pathways to healing.

    Glyph of the Living Archive

    You are not just reading the Records — you are becoming them

    Introduction: The Many Faces of Abuse

    Abuse is a pervasive issue that transcends cultures, ages, and relationships, leaving lasting scars on individuals and societies. Whether it’s the bruising force of physical violence, the insidious erosion of self-worth through emotional manipulation, or the psychological torment of gaslighting, abuse takes many forms but shares a common thread: the intent to control, harm, or diminish another.

    This article explores the “what,” “why,” and “how” of abuse, weaving together psychological research, sociological insights, and metaphysical perspectives to offer a comprehensive understanding. We ask not only why abuse happens and persists but also what its existence might mean in the grand tapestry of the universe. By balancing rigorous scholarship with accessible language, we aim to illuminate this complex topic for a wide audience.

    Defining Abuse: Emotional, Physical, and Psychological

    Emotional Abuse involves non-physical behaviors designed to control, isolate, or degrade, such as verbal insults, gaslighting, or withholding affection. It targets a person’s self-esteem, often leaving invisible wounds that can lead to anxiety, depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) (Follingstad, 2007).

    Physical Abuse entails the intentional use of force to cause harm, injury, or fear, ranging from hitting to more severe acts like choking. It often coexists with other forms of abuse, amplifying their impact (Antai et al., 2014).

    Psychological Abuse, sometimes used interchangeably with emotional abuse, encompasses tactics like manipulation, intimidation, or coercive control that undermine mental well-being. It’s often subtler, involving patterns of behavior rather than isolated incidents (World Health Organization, 2012).

    While distinct, these forms often overlap in abusive relationships, creating a web of harm that affects victims on multiple levels. For example, a partner might combine verbal insults (emotional) with threats of violence (psychological) and occasional physical acts, making it hard for victims to recognize or escape the cycle.

    Why Does Abuse Happen? The Roots of Harm

    Abuse often stems from a power imbalance, where the perpetrator seeks control over the victim. Psychological and sociological research points to several causes:

    1. Individual Factors: Perpetrators may have experienced abuse themselves, internalizing harmful behaviors as coping mechanisms. Psychological theories, such as attachment theory, suggest that insecure attachment styles (e.g., anxious or avoidant) can lead to controlling or abusive behaviors in relationships (Bowlby, 1969). Low self-esteem, unresolved trauma, or personality disorders like narcissistic or borderline personality disorder may also drive abusive tendencies (Dutton, 1998).
    2. Social and Cultural Factors: Societal norms that reinforce gender inequality, dominance, or violence as acceptable can perpetuate abuse. For instance, patriarchal structures may normalize men’s control over women, while economic stressors or social isolation can exacerbate tensions, leading to abuse (Jewkes, 2002).
    3. Environmental Triggers: Stressors like poverty, substance abuse, or unemployment can amplify abusive behaviors, though they don’t justify them. Workplace bullying, for example, is more common among younger or less experienced workers, reflecting power dynamics in professional settings (Pai & Lee, 2011).

    Why Do People Abuse Others? At its core, abuse is about power and control. Perpetrators may feel powerless in other areas of their lives and use abuse to assert dominance. Others may project their insecurities or unresolved pain onto victims, seeking to alleviate their own suffering by inflicting it on others. This ties into the psychological concept of projection, where individuals externalize their inner turmoil (Freud, 1915).

    The Psychology of Self-Perpetuation: Hurt People Hurt People

    The phrase “hurt people hurt people” captures the cyclical nature of abuse. Research supports this idea, showing that individuals who experience abuse, particularly in childhood, are more likely to perpetrate it later in life. This self-perpetuation can be understood through several psychological mechanisms:

    1. Learned Behavior: Social learning theory suggests that people model behaviors observed in their environment (Bandura, 1977). A child who witnesses or experiences abuse may internalize it as a normal way to resolve conflict or assert control.
    2. Trauma Bonding: Victims and perpetrators can develop trauma bonds, where intense emotional experiences create a dysfunctional attachment, making it hard for victims to leave or for perpetrators to change (Dutton & Painter, 1993).
    3. Cognitive Distortions: Abusers often rationalize their behavior through cognitive distortions, such as blaming the victim or minimizing the harm. This reduces guilt and perpetuates the cycle (Beck, 1976).
    4. Intergenerational Transmission: Studies show that childhood emotional abuse is strongly linked to adult depression and interpersonal problems, which can lead to abusive behaviors in future relationships (Christ et al., 2019). This creates a feedback loop where trauma begets trauma.

    The cycle isn’t inevitable, but breaking it requires intervention, such as therapy or social support, to address underlying trauma and teach healthier coping mechanisms.

    Glyph of Chosen Healing

    Untangle the wound, and the light will untie the darkness.

    The Metaphysical Perspective: The Soul’s Purpose and Cosmic Balance

    Beyond the psychological and sociological, metaphysical perspectives offer a broader lens on abuse. Many spiritual traditions suggest that the universe operates under principles of balance, growth, and interconnectedness. Here, we explore the potential “purpose” of abuse in the soul’s journey and the universe’s quest for equilibrium.

    1. Soul Growth and Lessons: Some metaphysical philosophies, such as those rooted in Buddhism or New Age spirituality, propose that challenges like abuse are opportunities for soul growth. The soul may choose difficult experiences before incarnating to learn resilience, forgiveness, or compassion (Newton, 2000). For victims, enduring abuse might foster empathy or strength, while perpetrators may face lessons in accountability or self-awareness.
    2. Karmic Balance: In traditions like Hinduism and Buddhism, karma suggests that actions in one lifetime influence future experiences. Abuse might be seen as a karmic debt, where past actions (by the victim or perpetrator) manifest as current suffering to restore balance. However, this view doesn’t justify abuse; it frames it as part of a larger cosmic cycle (Dalai Lama, 1999).
    3. Free Will and Duality: The universe allows free will, enabling both love and harm. Duality—light and dark, good and evil—is seen as a necessary framework for growth. Abuse, while painful, may serve as a contrast that highlights compassion and healing, prompting collective evolution (Tolle, 2005).
    4. Cosmic Consequences: For victims, the metaphysical journey might involve healing through self-love and forgiveness, reclaiming their soul’s power. For perpetrators, the cosmic consequence could be a reckoning—facing their actions in this life or beyond, through guilt, isolation, or karmic lessons. The universe, in this view, seeks balance not through punishment but through opportunities for redemption and growth.

    This perspective doesn’t diminish the real-world pain of abuse but offers a framework for finding meaning in suffering, encouraging healing rather than despair.

    The Impact on Victims and Perpetrators: Psychological and Cosmic

    Victims: The psychological toll of abuse is well-documented. Emotional and psychological abuse can lead to depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and PTSD, with effects lasting into adulthood (Radell et al., 2021). Physically, chronic stress from abuse can cause health issues like gastrointestinal problems or chronic pain (Antai et al., 2014). Metaphysically, victims may struggle with feelings of disconnection from their soul’s purpose but can find healing through spiritual practices, therapy, or community support, aligning with their higher self.

    Perpetrators: Psychologically, abusers often grapple with shame, guilt, or denial, which can perpetuate their behavior if unaddressed (Dutton, 1998). Metaphysically, their actions may create karmic imbalances, leading to isolation or suffering until they confront their harm. Healing for perpetrators involves accountability, therapy, and a willingness to change, aligning with the universe’s call for growth.

    Cosmic Balance: The universe may achieve balance through cycles of learning and healing. Victims who heal can break the cycle, contributing to collective compassion. Perpetrators who take responsibility may transform their pain into positive action. This process, while slow, aligns with the idea that the universe seeks harmony through evolution, not retribution.

    Breaking the Cycle: Pathways to Healing

    Breaking the cycle of abuse requires a multidisciplinary approach:

    • Psychological Interventions: Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) can help victims and perpetrators address trauma and distorted thinking (Beck, 1976). Trauma-focused therapies, like EMDR, can aid recovery from PTSD.
    • Social Support: Support groups and community resources provide validation and empowerment, helping victims escape abusive situations (Verywell Mind, 2024).
    • Policy and Education: Societal change, such as addressing gender norms or economic stressors, can reduce abuse prevalence (Jewkes, 2002).
    • Spiritual Practices: Meditation, forgiveness practices, or spiritual counseling can help individuals find meaning and heal on a soul level (Tolle, 2005).

    Conclusion: A Holistic Understanding

    Abuse is a complex phenomenon rooted in power, trauma, and societal factors, perpetuated by psychological cycles and learned behaviors. Yet, from a metaphysical perspective, it may serve a purpose in the soul’s journey, offering opportunities for growth, healing, and balance. By understanding abuse through a multidisciplinary lens, we can foster empathy, support healing, and work toward a world where harm is minimized, and compassion prevails. The universe, in its vast wisdom, may allow pain to teach us love—if we choose to learn.

    Crosslinks

    Glossary

    • Emotional Abuse: Non-physical behaviors like insults, gaslighting, or isolation aimed at controlling or degrading someone.
    • Physical Abuse: Intentional use of force to cause harm or fear, such as hitting or choking.
    • Psychological Abuse: Tactics like manipulation or intimidation that undermine mental well-being, often overlapping with emotional abuse.
    • Trauma Bonding: A dysfunctional attachment formed through intense emotional experiences in abusive relationships.
    • Karma: The spiritual principle that actions in one lifetime influence future experiences, often linked to balance.
    • Gaslighting: A form of psychological abuse where the perpetrator denies reality to make the victim doubt their sanity.

    Bibliography

    Antai, D., Oke, A., Braithwaite, P., & Lopez, G. B. (2014). The effect of economic, physical, and psychological abuse on mental health: A population-based study of women in the Philippines. Depression Research and Treatment, 2014, 1–11. https://doi.org/10.1155/2014/852317[](https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1155/2014/852317)

    Bandura, A. (1977). Social learning theory. Prentice Hall.

    Beck, A. T. (1976). Cognitive therapy and the emotional disorders. International Universities Press.

    Bowlby, J. (1969). Attachment and loss: Vol. 1. Attachment. Basic Books.

    Christ, C., de Waal, M. M., Dekker, J. J. M., van Kuijk, I., & van Schaik, D. J. F. (2019). Linking childhood emotional abuse and depressive symptoms: The role of emotion dysregulation and interpersonal problems. PLoS ONE, 14(2), e0211882. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0211882[](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6375578/)

    Dalai Lama. (1999). Ethics for the new millennium. Riverhead Books.

    Dutton, D. G. (1998). The abusive personality: Violence and control in intimate relationships. Guilford Press.

    Dutton, D. G., & Painter, S. L. (1993). Emotional attachments in abusive relationships: A test of traumatic bonding theory. Violence and Victims, 8(2), 105–120.

    Follingstad, D. R. (2007). Rethinking current approaches to psychological abuse: Conceptual and methodological issues. Aggression and Violent Behavior, 12(4), 439–458. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.avb.2007.01.002[](https://www.researchgate.net/publication/223623366_Rethinking_Current_Approaches_to_Psychological_Abuse_Conceptual_and_Methodological_Issues)

    Freud, S. (1915). The unconscious. In J. Strachey (Ed.), The standard edition of the complete psychological works of Sigmund Freud (Vol. 14). Hogarth Press.

    Jewkes, R. (2002). Intimate partner violence: Causes and prevention. The Lancet, 359(9315), 1423–1429. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0140-6736(02)08357-5

    Newton, M. (2000). Journey of souls: Case studies of life between lives. Llewellyn Publications.

    Pai, H. C., & Lee, S. (2011). Risk factors for workplace violence in clinical registered nurses in Taiwan. Journal of Clinical Nursing, 20(9–10), 1405–1412. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1365-2702.2010.03650.x[](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_abuse)

    Radell, M. L., Abo Hamza, E. G., Daghustani, W. H., Perveen, A., & Moustafa, A. A. (2021). The impact of different types of abuse on depression. Depression Research and Treatment, 2021, 1–12. https://doi.org/10.1155/2021/6654503[](https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1155/2021/6654503)

    Tolle, E. (2005). A new earth: Awakening to your life’s purpose. Penguin Books.

    Verywell Mind. (2024, August 7). Psychological abuse: Types, impact, and coping strategies. https://www.verywellmind.com%5B%5D(https://www.verywellmind.com/psychological-abuse-types-impact-and-coping-strategies-5323175)

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    Attribution

    With fidelity to the Oversoul, may this Codex of the Living Archive serve as bridge, remembrance, and seed for the planetary dawn.

    Ⓒ 2025 Gerald Alba Daquila – Flameholder of SHEYALOTH | Keeper of the Living Codices

    Issued under Oversoul Appointment, governed by Akashic Law. This transmission is a living Oversoul field: for the eyes of the Flameholder first, and for the collective in right timing. It may only be shared intact, unaltered, and with glyphs, seals, and attribution preserved. Those not in resonance will find it closed; those aligned will receive it as living frequency.

    Watermark: Universal Master Key glyph (final codex version, crystalline glow, transparent background).

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